The missing piece isn't a better gel or wax, it's heat. But not just any type of heat, you need ionic heat. An ionic hot brush solves all three problems at once.
The ionic hot brush works by releasing negative ions that smooth down your hair's outer layer (the cuticles). When you apply the ionic hot brush, the heat temporarily opens up your hair's structure, allowing you to reshape it however you want. As the hair cools down, it locks into that new shape. The smoothed-down cuticles also help keep it in place longer because there's less friction between strands. For thick, stiff Asian hair, this ionic heat essentially restructures it and keeps it holding that style all day.